sooooo, it’s 4:01am, and I’m wide awake. i’m feeling this gemini super new moon energy. duality. honing in. thinking and feeling things through… “zooming out”, as michael would say. i must keep remembering to zoom out, yet remain tuned in.
i’m also checking out short form vs. long form versions of copywriting. i know, i know…. it’s like, whaaaaaaaaaat. but i’m trying to formulate a plan on becoming a PAID WRITER. preferably remote.
the longer i listen to the voices in my head that keep me in this weird comfort zone, the edgier i feel. and not edgy like cool edgy- like more at the proverbial ledge-edgy. angst-wise. (Joli reminds me that there is no “ledge” though… lol, yes it’s all in my head. self-masochist vibes indeed, ha)
i’m going to be 42yo in less than 3 months and i can honestly say that i am not doing what i want to be doing in my career for the rest of my existence. and the promotion that i’m being pushed towards, i’ve come to realize, is not MY version of my future self. my creative energies have become stagnant and somewhat sad.
i’m tired most days, not just physically and emotionally, but spiritually too.
but i am still inspired. things outside of my work life are what give me my sparks. and i still have paris.